Do Not Defend This Piece of Plastic

Can we have a candid conversation about flip-flops?  Not beach attire or anything like that, just flip-flops.  Are you ready?  This is going to get really serious, so you have to be prepared before reading on.  Some of the things in this article might shock you.  Okay, here it goes…

Why does anyone like flip-flops?  More importantly, why do so many people gasp in shock and horror when I question flip-flops?  Why do people defend them so much?  Don’t you know how bad they are for your feet?  With zero arch support and that uncomfortable plastic thing between your toes how can anyone stand them for more than ten minutes?  I’ve actually seen people walk all day in them!  How is that physically possible?

On top of being what must be an orthopedic nightmare, flip-flops also look awful.  I don’t care how many pedicures you get, most people just don’t really have the kind of feet that should be shown off in public.  Feet are just weird.  Bunions, hammertoe, veiny feet, too long of toes, even having feet that are too tanned are just strange to me.  Then again, that might be my fear of feet talking.

Let’s go back to the logical point I brought up earlier: orthopedic nightmare.  I’ve watched so many friends limp away after a long day on flip-flops that I question why anyone would want to wear them anywhere.  Even going to the beach in flip-flops sounds horrifying to me.  I just see no appeal.  I’m not really a fan of sandals in general, but flip-flops are just the worst of the worst.

See, I told you this would get serious.  I bet some of you are probably annoyed with me right now.  “Did she just insult my beloved flip-flops?”  Yes, I did.  I will never flip flop on the issue of flip-flops: I hate them.  And before you get upset and write a scathing rebuttal, remember that you are speaking up in defense of a flat piece of plastic.

Written By: Nikki M.

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